To Sleep, Perchance To Dream? Not Effing Likely ....

Is anybody (besides Howard, that is) lucky enough to go to sleep the minute the head touches the pillow? Because I don't do that. I know you are wondering why I don't do that, so I'll satisfy your curiosity. I'll even use bullets.

1. I crawl into bed, and if I'm lucky, I'll get there before my cat. If not, I have to lift/lug that 20 pound beast off the bedspread so I can turn it down enough to get my legs in.
2. I rearrange that cat's tail so its tucked down around its butt, so when he lies against my head there is a buffer between my hair and his ... well, you know what I mean.
3. My feet  wiggle around to get some room between the dog who lies on the foot end of the bed and the hubby whose feet lie in the same area. If I'm lucky, I can keep my feet, which are usually icy cold, next to his feet/legs, which are usually warm as toast. 
4. My throat starts to feel a bit dry, so I have to get up for some Halls.
5. Steps 1 - 3
6. The Halls give me heartburn, so I have to get up for some Gaviscon.
7. Steps 1 - 3.
8. The Gaviscon takes away the soothing of the Halls and I start with my hacking cough. I have to get up for some Buckleys, which tastes like crap but usually works.
9. Steps 1 - 3
10. I finally settle into my pillow, manage to get my feet on somebody's warm legs, and ...... hubby wakes up. He wants to know why I'm so late going to bed (by now it's after midnight) and I have to persuade him I just got up to use the washroom and actually went to bed at 10 o'clock. He never believes that, but just turns out and drops off, serenading me with those just-dropping-off snores for half and hour. 
11. My eyes, which were drooping with sleep a mere 20 minutes ago, are now popped wide open, and my mind is dashing madly around everything I did/saw/said/watched over the past week. 
12. I finally drop off, around an hour before his alarm goes off at 5 am. Shortly after the alarm goes off, the light comes on. That is just in case the alarm doesn't wake me, of course. I do manage to drop back into dreamland when he leaves for work, however ......
13. He will shut the door when he leaves the bedroom. No matter how many times I tell him to leave that door open, he will shut it. So ...

The furnace cuts in, turning our small bedroom into a hot box in about 10 minutes. The fountain of sweat sprinkling off my brow wakes up the cat, who starts scratching at that damn door, as he's not smrt enough to open it himself. When I roll out to open the door, the dog thinks it's time for him to go pee. Even in this so-called spring, it's not very warm outdoors at 5:30 in the morning, and Teddy won't do what he needs to do without turning around every 20 seconds to make sure I'm there shivering in the rain/wind/snow/hail, whatever, waiting for him. So by the time we go back indoors, and it's back to Step 1, the sheets have lost their warmth, Howard's hot legs are at work, and my body is screaming for coffee.
Rats. I know it's bedtime now, as my eyes are starting to blink and I'm yawning like mad. However, I'm wondering .... is it really worth it?