Happy Birthday to Bradley - Just In Case He Doesn't Remember How He Got Here .....

Just a little post tonight, to honour my first born, a bouncing 8lb 4oz boy we named Bradley Guy. Now he's 37 years old .... and doesn't time fly?

 So we look back to the time when I could make babies, poems, and little drawin's with ease. The one below tells about how ...

... tired mom and I were of waiting for this young rascal to arrive. The due date was almost two weeks before, I was getting bigger and bigger, and Nanny really wanted to hold this little one. When she suggested the treatment the midwives in Scotland used, both Dad and Howard were dead set against it - but neither of them were in the waddling mode, so we waited until they were tucked away in the Man Shed and went for it.

 Let me tell you - of all the disgusting foods Richmond's Food Blogger Lindsay ate last year, none equaled the Castor Oil/Orange Juice Cocktail. This had to be swallowed near a toilet, because one wasn't sure if it would stay down or not. It did.

And everything went on as normal, until I got a bit of cramping, which rushed me back to the toilet pretty quickly. Imagine the worst case of diarrhea cramps in the world, and being unable to bend over as you moaned and groaned, because of an ultra big tummy sitting on your lap. Finally, drained completely ... and the cramps getting worse ... and the rain coming down in buckets ... it was time to head to the hospital in Gander.

Where the one of the nurses absolutely wasted an enema on me. 

However, it was all worth it. Thanks to Bradley, I became a Mommy for the first time! And because he was such a lovely baby, I decided to try it two times more.

Hope you had the best birthday ever, son. Your mommy still loves you tons.

Just Words - My Last Trip (Literally)

Here's a riddle for you - What goes meow, hiss, bump, thump, splat and swears like a drunken sailor, in the middle of the night?

Me, tripping over my cat and going flip flop down the last six steps, landing in a sore heap at the bottom.

Yes, this is what happened the night before last. I was going downstairs, and I didn't turn on the hall light, and I didn't see my black cat lying on the steps halfway down the stairs. I'm not sure where the cat went, but I know where I went - in a slow motion dive to the bottom, leaving from a standing position and ending up front-side down. Nikkie came zooming down to see what happened - I didn't see her coming, but I do believe she outrun the time she saw the tarantula loose in the bedroom and came flying downstairs with no feet touching the risers. Howard stumbled out of the bedroom and asked if I was okay - I said I didn't know (at that point I thought I had several broken bones, lacerations, sprains, dislocations and concussions) but when I told him I tripped over the cat, he seemed to think that was one more reason not to have a cat, and went back to bed. I heard Steve come in from locking up his work truck, then he also flew downstairs. By then I was almost back on my feet, and he helped me into the den.

(I'm sorry I don't have pics, but none of my family thought to grab a cell phone on the way. Actually, I'm more grateful than sorry.)

By then, I was pretty sure my big toe got the worst of it, as it was the sorest part of me. However, the next morning, it was okay, and my left shoulder, collar bone area and upper arm decided to come alive. I think I twisted and landed on these parts. Which was unfortunate, because I have a lot of other parts that are better padded than these. 

However, I came out lucky, I guess. No broken bones, not even any bruises that I can see .... but it's still not far enough in the past that I can laugh about it. Now the worst thing is that my Tylenol Arthritis pills don't handle Pain Caused By Extreme Clumsiness, and I can't take any other painkillers because I'm on the highest dose of Tylenol - so the pharmacist told me. I told Nikkie maybe I should just go and buy a flask of gin. But I didn't. The last one I bought evaporated so quickly, I only got one sorta kinda Tom Collins out of it.

A Bit of This, A Bit of That - Growing Up, Messing Up, and Re-Discovering the Joys of Alcohol (not really!)

Since I turned yet another year older, I've been getting slower ... and slower ... and slower. I was doing pretty good up to September 7, and it's all been downhill since then. Oh well, maybe the doctor can fix me up - I visited him yesterday, and explained how I was waiting for the strong, vibrant, go-go-go part of post-menopausal womanhood to hit me - I think he thought that was funny. Men. Huh.

So he sent me to the lab with a requisition to take 3, yes 3, bottles of blood, half a pint (it seems) of pee, and an ECG. Nothing was easy - needle pricks, a night-full bladder (because if I peed before I went, I knew I wouldn't be able to produce even a tinkle) - and to top it all off, I was as hungry as a bear (as I couldn't eat anything before the blood work.) The ECG wasn't so bad except for the naked-from-the-waist-up part. 

And now I realize the worst part of the whole thing is the fact that I  can see my results before the doctor can tell me, ah, that's nothing to worry about. Crap.

However .... let's look a bit farther back, shall we?

September 8 - I woke up being 61 years old, and what a number that is. I still  can't imagine it. I'm older than my mother was when she was 60. And still the clock ticks on .... 

Pauline brought me a big bunch of sunflowers from the staff at the store. I love sunflowers, and bringing them home on the bus was a treat. And yes, that meant I had to work on my birthday. 

When I got home, though, there was a nice surprise - Steve and  Nikkie made a really nice dinner. Thai marinated chicken shish kabobs, and fancy rice. So yummy. And so didn't have to clean up after!

A really delicious orange birthday cake as well, made from scratch by Nikkie, the best cake-maker in the house. I cannot make a scratch cake, they always turn out heavy (dunchy), but this one was so perfect. Thanks, Steve and Nikkie.

Now, for some advice if you own mugs like these. Look closely, and you will see that one is in fact upside down - they have clear glass bottoms. However, these clear glass bottoms are hard to see when one still has sleep in one's eyes. A quick way to wake up though, is to pour orange juice onto the wrong end and give your feet a cold sticky shower.

After my doc's visit yesterday afternoon, I met Howard, Nikkie and the kids at Knight & Day restaurant so I could have another Strawberry Chi Chi. I don't really enjoy boozing, but these make vodka quite drinkable. It may not be the perfect side for a BLT, but who cares? I don't.

And here it is, Saturday. I'm sitting in a messy room, with tons of stuff I should be doing since I start another 3 days of work tomorrow, but that's okay. I'm sure it will all wait until I'm ready to attack it!

September 7 - Rain? You Call That Rain?, A Squirrel Memory, and Thank God Not All Webs Are World Wide

We had a little shower a couple of evenings ago - I thought we would all float away, to tell the truth. It was the biggest rainfall we had seen since moving over to the wet coast - in fact, it was probably the heaviest rain EVER.

We were also blessed with thunder and lightning - thunder so loud I thought I'd find Nikkie cowering under the bed. It's a good job I'm not afraid of thunder, as Howard wouldn't put the frame for our bed together, so our box spring and mattress is on the floor. Of which I was glad, actually, as last night he really did push me off the bed, so I didn't have far to fall. (Well, to tell the truth, my side of the bed is only about a foot away from the wall, so I actually got jammed between the wall and the mattress. It's just as well to be honest about it. Or you won't believe anything I say in this blog is true.)

At least I didn't have clothes on the clothesline - but that's probably only because His Royal Highness won't fix the linr that needs fixing. As you can see, the lady that lives kitty-kat corner from us has a line-full that got a spectacularly good rinsing. She took the clothes in this morning - 2 days after said storm.

Howard and Steve went out to make sure there was a drainage 'ditch' so water didn't get in the basement. Howard borrowed my umbrella. Steve didn't. He came in, and asked Nikkie to get him a towel, but she was gone so long he assumed she was gone to get her camera. She wasn't, but I took his picture instead, and of course, he came after me and gave me the biggest hug he could, before she showed up with the towel. Poor wet me.

I don't know if you remember last year's blog titled Howard Versus The Squirrel but I did when I saw this book in the thrift store. He wasn't very impressed with the gift, but everyone else thought it was pretty funny. Especially me.

And so to tonight. I dropped my cherry tomatoes. In fact, I flung my cherry tomatoes. Just because the cat had to be taken in, as it was getting dark, and the cat is blind, and seems to attract raccoons.

I had just picked a handful of delicious, ripe tomatoes when I saw the cat. Teaser was just standing, facing the wall, probably wondering where the door was. So, with tomatoes on one hand, and cat's belly on the other, we headed through the basement door, where cat is deposited by the food bowl. He is now happy. And I go back out through the basement door, where I see a bag of used kitty litter lumps I had thrown out there last night and forgotten about, so I picked that up in my free hand and headed to the garbage bin - taking the scenic route around the house, where the grass was cool and lovely on my bare feet. In fact I was so enraptured by the grass, I forgot about the humongous spider web with its humongous resident spider until my face went right into it. So here goes my panic dance, tomatoes flying around like the spots from a disco ball, and me whipping the dishrag from my shoulder and flipping and flopping it all over my body, frothing up my hair in particular, all the time running for the house and hoping my husband, already full of beer, would take pity and check me out for eight-legged creatures. He said there were none, but it was easier for him to say that, than actually check. So I went and shook everything over Nikkie, who promptly went ballistic on the couch.

Now I'm downstairs, with itchy and crawly feelings that won't go away.

You can stop laughing now.

Nikkie and Me and the PNE ..... Wheeeeeeeeee!

September 2, Labour Day, and the last day of the PNE

I haven't been to the Pacific National Exhibition in years - in fact, I've only been there twice before. The last time, Chris and Lizzie were both in strollers, it was as hot as Hades, and His Royal Highness was with us, which meant hurry up and down, don't want to play those games, etc etc etc and ending with 'Let's get the hell out of here,' or words to that effect.

The first time was way back in 1994, when we were all much younger ... and braver, it seems 
 
Aaah, memories ... however, on this cloudy morning with just a maybe whisper of rain in the air, we dragged ourselves to the bus stop, the first leg of the journey to Vancouver and a day of thrills. Gentle thrills, though. Not roller coaster ones.

Even the entrance to the fair was 'nice' - cool, rad, bad, sick, whatever. If you've never seen an eco-sculpture, here's one below. With instructions, so you can make your very own one over the winter.

It's a spectacular horse to behold.

From both ends. This isn't the last horse you'll read about here.

There was so much to see and do - tons of games, rides, food trucks - some of them really stood out among the others.

We didn't do this ride this year. Next year we are going to do this ride.

But we weren't too afraid to reach new heights, so we went in line for the Ferris Wheel. I've never been in a Ferris Wheel before, as I am supposed to be afraid of heights, but I think Zip Lining at Grouse Mountain in May got me over that. Slightly, anyway.

However, some of us needed a few moments of meditation and prayer to ready herself for our circular flight.

BRING IT ON .....

The view was .... okay. The Wooden Roller Coaster looks like a lot of fun, but it was a definite no from the girl. Which was sort of a relief, as I felt the same way. (The above link is really interesting .... )

I think some of my friends would come waaay up from Texas for this - Chocolate Dipped Bacon?

or Banana Bacon Ear? Topped with icing sugar AND chocolate? On a stick?

There were tons of food choices, some normal, some not so much. We tended to stick to the normal, though. I had a slice of cheese pizza for lunch, and a baked potato for dinner. Pretty boring, eh? At least I had variety - Nikkie had chicken strips and fries for both meals.

We tried a few games at the Midway .. we won a blue thingie at a basketball game, and Nikkie chose a horse (remember this fact - she chose a horse) at an Age Guessing thing.

Most of the games were a bit lame, as the amount of money you paid decided the prize you would win. Translate that into - for $5, you get a small prize as you're pretty sure to win and the small prize was picked up at the peso store in Mexico, and for $10 you win a large prize ... same story. But it was fun anyway.

After the midway, we headed to the Safeway Farm Country - all we had to do was follow our noses, actually. As well as horses, cows with calves, chickens and turkeys, we saw alpacas - aren't they just the cutest things? I know where their hair is though - hanging in colourful hanks in the store!

And llamas ... my, what big eyes you've got! Ogden Nash wrote a little poem about this guy ... check out some of his clever little verses!

Being Safeway, which sells lots of veggies, of course, there had to be a veggie plot. Actually, there were many veggie plots full of pots of veggies (but no pots of pot, that I could see), but I don't want to bore you with lots of veggie plots.

And a nice herb garden. Herb gardens aren't boring. You may want to try a Herb Spiral Garden - I think it's a great idea, but I'm too lazy myself to make one and Steve broke his finger this past spring so he wouldn't have to.

 Next was a trip to a wasp display. I think I'll put up with the aphids, inchworms and fruit flies, actually. You can have the wasps.

Yup, a mamma wasp started one of these suckers on the roof of the deck early this summer. A well-orchestrated maneuver fixed her clock, though. Neil swatted her with a book (I think it was a Thomas the Train one) and she just sailed over the balcony and landed on the concrete (the wasp, not the book) and Shannon, who was already on the concrete, stepped on her. Ta Da.

Honey bees I can live with. They make honey, which I sometimes use when I make delicious ribs for dinner. Plus they don't buzz around my Blackberry Jam when I'm eating breakfast on the deck.

By the way, have you read Stephen King's Under the Dome yet? Don't know why that popped into my mind .... Here are some bees. Nikkie buzzed off pretty quickly when she saw this.

And I will never try to get her job, let me tell you. If you want to see more of her ... check out The Wicker Man - excuse me while I shiver and moan.

Out in the fresh air again - I hope this truck makes it! I love food trucks!

Okay, so far we've done the rides, the food fairs, the midway, the farm ... and walking around we see this ... aha .... it's the Hastings Race Course , of course. I didn't know there was a horse racing place here, so we walked in to see what was happening. The jockeys were walking their horses around, and yes, there was a race starting in about 10 minutes - which was just enough time to figure out how to place a bet on the automatic betting machines. 

Nikkie chose the horse. Number 5. It was wearing green, and she really likes green.

And off they go ... here they come .... clippity clop ... hoofs pounding ... zoom ...

Hmm. no green rider there. No number 5. 

Tap foot. Hum a tune. Ah .... here he comes, a gentle little trotter, taking its jolly time. Out for a leisurely walk, it seems. Guess our $5 wasn't enough incentive for that little bugger. I guess when you get a lap behind you are disqualified? And that's why the rider led him off the track?

We left the horse track, having learned a valuable lesson, and headed to the Superdogs show, which was great, even though we didn't have the best seats. (Note to self: go earlier next year, and get better seats.) It's amazing how smrt dogs are - I don't think there are any dumb dogs, although I do believe there are some dumb owners. I don't mean the superdogs and the owners here, I just mean in general.

Next on the agenda was a cooking show, which was really a real-life shopping network show, with a sort of funny chef trying to sell waterless cookware. However, we had to leave before his chicken and veggies were ready, as we had to be on site at CTV's area to win our tour on their helicopter. 

And who should we meet but Mike McCardell. He used to work for Global TV, but they 'got rid' of him a while ago, because he 'didn't fit their image' anymore. Shame on Global TV. I'm sure CTV and Mike's fans are happy he's back on air -

The Last Word - A last look at the PNE

We're so glad you're back too, Mr McCardell!

 Meanwhile, if you get a chance to read his books, do so. I'm a fan.

I think he's a fan of me, too.

While we patiently waited for one of our names to be pulled from the drum, we listened to a newscast by Tamara Taggart (her Blog here), and weather forecaster Michael Kuss (in the blue shirt below.) However, when the names were drawn, ours were not called, so I guess no helicopter ride for us in Chopper 9. Rats.

The CTV booth also offered pictures with fan favourites ... so here are Nikkie and me with Belle, from Once Upon A Time. She was very sweet.

After our non-win, we headed over to another big auditorium for a game of Family Feud. Neither one of us was chosen to play (we all got a ticket at the entrance, and the teams were drawn from a bucket), but it was so funny. Bob Goen was a great host, even with one contestant who couldn't understand or talk English.

And last, but not least - a Neil Diamond tribute singer. Some of the stuff he did was great, Forever in Blue Jeans not so good. Here's the real thing for you all ... as a reward for getting to the end of this post!

and here's a little clip of the Monday evening's artist  -  and a bio below!

 

September 1 & 2
Bobby Bruce's Nearly Neil & The Solitary Band

A "Legend" was born when Bobby Bruce's incomparable talent for impersonating Neil Diamond was realized in Toronto. His incredible showmanship has rocked crazed crowds around the globe as he has performed in Legends in Concert in Las Vegas and is a huge success in Australia, South East Asia and the U.S. An Australian journalist said, "Neil Diamond better be wary if he ever comes to town. Bobby Bruce is a hard act to follow!" In 2005, Bobby returned to his musical theatre roots with a starring role in "Cabaret" for which he earned an Ovation nomination and garnered overwhelming critical acclaim. Bobby’s “Nearly Neil” concerts are always sell-outs – the PNE wouldn’t be the same without him and this is his 13th consecutive year! In 2006, Bobby was awarded “Entertainer of the Year” by the PNE, so come and experience this amazing showman live!
www.nearlyneil.com