My Flog for January 18 + Chapter 2 of the Untitled Story

Today was awful. I had no coffee. And any thoughts I may have had during the night of going to Tim Horton's or A&W for breakfast and coffee were dashed by the cold temperature outside. I didn't even want to get out of bed, let alone travel a mile for a brew.

So, as days that start out in the mode of suck usually stay that way, this one did indeed. I did almost nothing - a few dishes, a half-hearted sweep of the kitchen floor, and of course the litter box. One must never neglect that cat accessory, no matter how lazy one feels. I watched the Food Network until I couldn't bear to watch any more, knowing there was no way to reproduce these wonderful dishes with little energy and fewer ingredients.

However, the morning wasn't a complete loss, because even before I got out of bed, I knew where my poor little excuse for a story was going - but that's about the only thing about it so far that echoes my life.

• Breakfast - Toast with Jam and (oh dear) Hot Chocolate, which did absolutely no good for me at all
• Lunch - Bread and Baked Beans (someone's got to eat them, as Howard said he didn't want any more, and I should be glad he didn't, as he planned to share their effects with me during the night)
• Dinner - Fried Eggs and a slice of bread. So how many slices of bread today? Only 5. I have to get to the store tomorrow and buy veggies and fruit. 
• Snacks - a few chips. If there was anything else in the cupboard to snack on, I would have snacked on it. But my cupboards are bare. My problem is, when I go to the store, I feel so proud of myself when I bypass the cookie and snack aisles - but when I get home I could kick myself. Oh yes - I also ate the last muffin. That's Howard's fault - he was supposed to take the 4 that were left to work, but he only took 3.

CHAPTER 2

So - last night, after finishing that bottle of wine (which was quite an accomplishment for someone who doesn't like wine) and stowing Brian's Urn in his liquor 'cabinet' - how apt was that? - I went to bed and slept the sleep of the righteous. The first few months since widowhood, I found it difficult to get to sleep. It was just as hard to fall asleep in the silence as it was to fall asleep with a room full of snores, but now I'm getting used to four silent walls.

And as I opened my eyes, I realized sleep had brought me a solution to the problem that was weighing heavy in my mind - how I was going to stretch my small income so I could remain in my house. Home for me was truly Home, as I was born to this house many years ago. The thought of selling and moving to an apartment or a townhouse where I'd be squashed into tiny rooms wasn't pleasant. Even though this house was built over 60 years ago, the rooms were spacious and we had kept it very well. When the girls were teenagers, they argued so much over bathroom time we had en suites installed in their rooms, and also in ours. The boys were left with the main bathroom downstairs, which still contained a beautiful claw foot tub, and a big window, perfect for sneaking in and out after bedtime. Adjacent to the bathroom was  the 'parlour', which boasted a fireplace, and had French windows opening onto a balcony which overlooked the back garden. Perfect bedsit for a modern woman.

So - if I used the bit of savings, I could transform this 5 bedroom into a Bed and Breakfast, or a Boarding House, or even a home for wayward women.. It felt good to have a purpose though. First thing was to Make A Plan, find a Handy Man (bonus) and buy some new linens.