How To Make a Strawberry Patch

I started off the morning with a walk to the nursery to get some plants - mostly strawberry, but also a Lavender, Chocolate Mint, and a Sage to plant in my Strawberry Patch. Unfortunately when I got home, I realized I didn't have a Strawberry Patch, so went out to do some digging, weeding, and black landscaping plastic removal. Since there was about 4 inches of teeny tiny landscape rocks on top of the landscape plastic, this was not the easiest job in the world, and not even Merle Haggard or the Monkees could make it seem easier.

Steve says landscaping is hard work, but to me gardening always seemed so ... genteel, somehow. Pull out a weed here, sprinkle a plant with water there, pat a worm every now and then and thank it - doesn't seem hard at all, does it? As you can tell, I've never started a garden before. Howard has, quite a few of them, but they always seem to get neglected over the summer - for example, the turnip seeds he planted in a bucket last summer spent the winter sitting on top of the soil, and now have produced some very pretty yellow flowers/seeds of their own. I think we were supposed to haul them up and cook them at one point.

Anyhoooo -

HOW TO MAKE A STRAWBERRY GARDEN

Pull, haul, dig in your heels and yank, weeds - but not the stabby ones.Use garden shears for these. Since the stems - trunks - are too thick to cut, grab them with the shears and twist until they give up the ghost. Put them in the green recycling bin with the rest of the stuff and then pull the stabbers out of your hands

       

 Push, shove, or shovel 3-4 inches of landscaping rock to one side so you can remove the landscaping plastic. That stuff is so heavy it would remain in the ground for millions of years - but between your hands and your kitchen shears, some of it is now in the garbage bin.   

                             
Level off the little rocks.

Using a big boy's spade and fork, dig up and break up the clay soil that's been compacted under said plastic for God knows how long. Level off with the rake, so now you have a layer of soil and little rocks, which should be good for drainage - I hope.

Scrounge the front, back and side yards for bricks and pieces of bricks and stones to make a little fence around the plot.

Go up in the far corner, where Mother Nature has been composting the downfall from a big old tree, and bring down three buckets of dark brown, slimy, rotting leaves. Spread on top of soil/rock layer. Hope and pray they enrich the soil. I think they should.

Steal Howard's 3 buckets of topsoil from the front yard- many trips, as you can only carry about a third of a bucket at a time, and spread over the leaves to make a nice bed for your plants.

When you're absolutely too pooped to do anything else - find cheap labour.

Plant and water your new garden, then go and shower, cut your fingernails and toenails in a futile attempt to remove the dirt - that's it! All done!

This little Strawberry Patch also has a pretty Latte Cup of Chocolate Mint, a pot of Lavender on one side edge, and a pot of Sage on the other - but like my first little garden they are both works in progress.